You, on the other hand, will have prepared and have a mental outline of what you would like to accomplish. Schedule all other meetings, about one month apart, and outline what will be covered in each meeting. To clarify that no announcements should be sent out until approval by the counseling couple is given and communicated to the Officiant and church Office. Consult with other Pre-Marriage Counselors who may have experienced this situation, and certainly seek the counsel of the Elders and Deacons of the church.
Tell the couple that this final approval will not be given until after the third meeting. Fourth, and somewhat uncomfortable to discuss, is sexual purity.
You might have to meet privately, men with men, women with women, in order for this to surface as an issue to address.
Is it your desire to have a Christian ceremony and Christian wedding? If the couple knows ahead of time they will be asked about their faith, they will have time to “prepare” an answer.
How do you want your spiritual relationship to improve? Describe both the strengths and the weaknesses of your mate. What potential problems do you anticipate in your marriage? Have you been involved in pornography in the past or are you at present?
What is there about your present relationship that makes it different from those past instances which did not last? Describe the spiritual dimension of your relationship up to this time?
Simply reschedule the meeting as quickly as possible so as not to throw off the rest of the schedule. Tell the groom you are expecting leadership from him in this area and that it is now time to start demonstrating it!
Having gone through the book with your spouse, you should be familiar with each chapter.