More often, he is morbidly impressed at how long a conversation can burble on, one-sided, after he has texted me “good night.” And sometimes, when the tone of a text conversation reaches a particular level of indignation, he gently tells me we should switch to a phone call so no one gets misunderstood. Our wildly contrasting sleep schedules, for example, are one point in favor of silent, respond-at-your-own-pace communication, while the long-distance relationship we share across two non-adjacent boroughs of New York City make phone calls indispensable when it comes to matters of logistics. I’m here but it’s crowded, let’s meet somewhere else” is a more efficient conversation when it doesn’t have to be punched in one letter at a time.
And the longer we stay together, strangely enough, the more I find myself inclined to just call when I want to talk to people I care about.
He sees texting as a slower, more frustrating alternative to the quick, easy phone chat, and I see it as both less confrontational and more private than a call. Among “Younger Millennials” in places like New York, texting is often the sole, tenuous thread that connects people who wouldn’t otherwise run into each other.
For a certain micro-generation of us, a text’s true function is mostly to deliver a bit of subtext: So when, a month after we’d met, he told me he’d been feeling under the weather lately and his texts slowed to a halting trickle, I did what I thought I had to: I took the hint.
Late one night last spring, a man I hadn’t seen in six months stood in my doorway and asked me softly, “Why did we quit doing this? But crucially, we stand on opposite sides of the dividing line between what Jesse Singal diagnosed last year as “Old Millennials” and “Younger Millennials.” So by the time AOL’s megasuccessful instant-chat system flowered into a mainstream mode of communication in the late ’90s, my boyfriend was a teenager and already had an established impulse for how to get in touch with his peers: a phone call.
I’ve spent a lot of years being afraid of what would happen if someone could tell I was fumbling for what to say, or if I accidentally revealed exactly what was on my mind.Check out these six common texting mistakes that can kill any new relationship. Really, there is no “one size fits all” answer, but in my opinion, continuity is king!A flirty text relationship should work the same way a conversation works in real life.Ever since “the reset,” as he likes to call it, he seldom goes more than half a day without sending me a good morning, or a how’s your day going, or a funny tweet he saw, or a single, gloriously random context-free emoji (the more baffling, the better). While you might be inclined to start texting this new guy or gal in the same old way you’ve texted every other flame before them, don’t get caught in this trap! It’s time to get creative, reevaluate your digital communication skills and learn a few new things about texting for your relationship, like how to keep him engaged via text without coming on too strong or everyone’s favorite lesson, how to seduce him via text. You’re not treating it like you would a normal conversation I have a lot of readers ask how often they should text someone.